the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
