Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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