He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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