you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
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Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
there is glitter all over my balls
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