you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you win again, gameday.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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