I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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