Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
