I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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