I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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