My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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