Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize