Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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