You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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