Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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