Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
