Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
