3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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