we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
