when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize