i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
