she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Oh god it's open bar.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
