i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
