I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The power of my boobs compel you
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
