I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You did what with his pubic hair?
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