I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
