Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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