he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
