is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
