the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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