Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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