i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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