Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
