Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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