Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
