all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
