Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
