this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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