Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
