Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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