hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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