I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
