Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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