I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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