found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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