You surviving the open bar?
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Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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