I'm gonna have a badass scar
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My ATM looks so different sober.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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