so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
