I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
