I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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