Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
