Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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