She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think my fart just growled at me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
