Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
