In America we eat man semen.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
