the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
