But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
