The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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