Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize